


Mysterystuck

by AwesomeWriterOfNerds



Category: Coraline (2009), Gravity Falls, Homestuck, ParaNorman (2012), Psychonauts, mystery kids - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-06 21:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4237308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwesomeWriterOfNerds/pseuds/AwesomeWriterOfNerds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a game. They didn't... they couldn't have known. To think that a seemingly simple game could cause all of this was an absurd thought, and yet, that is the truth. And now, their homes in ruins behind them, they are swept to a realm Warring Royalty, of Agents and Exiles and Consorts and Kernelsprites, of toiling Underlings and slumbering Denizens. There, they would be forced to play the game, to give birth to a new universe, to continue the cruel cycle all over again. Indeed, they are only puppets pulled by the strings of Paradox Space, forced to play against their will. But, the chosen eight plan in secret. They would play along... for now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ACT 1 CHAPTER 1 - The Ultimate Adventure

Disclaimer: I only own the story and my OCs.

* * *

  
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 18th of June, 2013, is the day before he would return to a quaint little town in Oregon to spend his summer. Though he was already given a name thirteen years ago, you would attempt to give him one anyway, because the author thought it would be funny to reference this particular gag, in the hopes that it would bring a feeling of nostalgia to whoever’s reading this, and keep the reader interested enough to continue reading.  
Anyways, go ahead. Give him a name.

  
**> Enter name.**

  
You enter Nerdy Shortdweeb, and the boy cringes in disgust at the name.

  
Really? You get a chance to rename another human being and that’s the name you pick? Nice going, smartass.

  
**> Well, what’s his name then?**

  
Your name is DIPPER PINES. As mentioned before, you are only a day away from leaving for OREGON for your SUMMER VACATION, as evidenced by an opened TRAVELLING BAG beside your bed. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a fondness for CATCHY SONGS, but you would only listen to it when you are alone. You like to participate in activities involving the use of your brain, such as CIPHERS and PUZZLES, and you are proud to say that you are actually QUITE GOOD AT IT. You have a passion for DISCOVERING THE UNKNOWN, and, just like the others in your friend group, are fascinated by PARANORMAL CREATURES and MYSTERIOUS PHENOMENONS.

  
What will you do?

  
**> Dipper: Examine the strange book on your desk.**

  
You examine the strange book on your desk. The book is specifically a JOURNAL, containing information of the strange happenings from the town you are about to visit, written down by an author who is actually related to you, much to your surprise when you first found out. You yourself have also contributed to the contents of the journal, writing down the adventures that you had on your previous summer vacation in that town. You smile fondly as the memories came back to you. Memories of adventures so awesome and epic words alone cannot describe just how monumentally amazing it was. You sometimes wonder if other people would find it just as amazing, and then you begin to wonder how you would even tell others about your story. Maybe you could write a book about it? Or maybe make a tv cartoon series?

  
You quickly dismiss such nonsensical thoughts. Even without the fact that the contents of the journal are best kept secret, you find it highly preposterous that you would someday create a cartoon series. It’s not like you would grow up to become an artist sporting a goatee that wears plaid shirts all the time, especially when the world is about to end tonight.

  
But of course, you don’t know _that_ yet.

  
**> Dipper: Captchalogue journal.**

  
Now why would you want to do that? That would be just a waste of a captchalogue card. Instead, you place the journal inside your STRIFE SPECIBUS, allocating it into the TOMEKIND ABSTRATUS.

  
Man, the name of your specibus sounds awesome. You take a moment to think about just how awesome it sounds. It is so awesome in fact, that you take another moment to say it out loud. TOMEKIND ABSTRATUS.

  
Yeah. So awesome.

  
But then you immediately realized you just assigned a book as your weapon. It’s a very important book, sure, but in the end it’s just a book. What are you going do, bonk people in the head till they’re unconscious? Yeah, you immediately regret this decision.

  
Oh well, it’s not like you’re about to engage in a strife anytime soon, and you can see no way how you can be placed in a situation where you have to engage in a strife with someone, or something.

  
**> Dipper: Examine discs on the desk.**

  
Those are discs for a widely-anticipated multiplayer online game called SBURB. There are two discs: the server disc and the client disc. You are so glad you immediately retrieved the discs and placed them safely in your room when they arrived by mail a few days ago. Otherwise, your parents might have retrieved them, and maybe place them in their car for some reason. That would create a lot of unnecessary drama and pointless shenanigans, and would stretch out the story more than the author has time for.

  
Speaking of SBURB, a certain girl, who is also the one that sent the game to you, has been pestering nearly non-stop for you to play this game. You find it quite odd, since this is not the sort of stuff she is usually interested in. You begin to wander if there is a hidden is reason behind her wanting you and the rest of your friends to play the game.

  
**> Dipper: Captchalogue Sburb discs.**

  
You place the SBURB DISCS in your sylladex, a place arguably even safer than your room. Your deck is using the CIPHER fetch modus, and therefore the image of the SBURB DISCS you stored inside became grayed out, and a cipher appears at the bottom right corner of the card. In order to retrieve the discs again, you have to crack the cipher first. You used to have trouble using this modus at first, but by now you can crack them with just a glance. You’re beginning to think you should switch to a more advanced version of this modus, but you’re flat-out broke at the moment, so you suppose a new modus would have to wait.

  
**>** **Dipper: Check computer.**

  
A glance at your computer shows that your PESTERCHUM application is flashing. Looks like one of your CHUMS is trying to talk to you. You hope it’s not her again. She just pestered you this afternoon and you’re not really in the mood to talk about games at the moment.

  
**>** **Dipper: Check Pesterchum.**

  
To your relief, you found that she was not the one pestering you. It was your twin sister, contacting you from the small town in Oregon that you would go to. You better answer her fast. Who knows how long she’s going to have a stable internet connection in that backwater town.

  
**> Dipper: Answer chum.**

  
**\-- magicalMiracles [MM] began pestering mysterySleuth [MS] at 16:13 --**

  
**MM: hey bro bro :)**

  
**MM: bro?**

  
**MM: broooooooooo**

  
**MS: Yeah, I’m here.**

  
**MM: how’s the packing going?**

  
**MS: It’s going smoothly.**

  
**MS: It will probably only take another hour.**

  
**MM: man I can’t wait for you to get here bro!**

  
**MM: it really sucks coming out here alone**

  
**MM: why u gotta have so many school projects anyway??? :(**

  
**MS: Those were necessary.**

  
**MS: I didn’t go to school for a whole month after the accident, remember?**

  
**MS: I need the extra credit.**

  
**MM: yea yea I remember all that gobblygack**

  
**MM: doesn’t make it any less sucky! >:(**

  
**MS: Chill, sis.**

  
**MS: I’ll be there by tomorrow night, tops.**

  
**MM: and I can’t wait for then!!!**

  
**MM: like**

  
**MM: if I still have that tape measure time travel doohickey**

  
**MM: I would skip straight to tomorrow night**

  
**MM: even thought you’ll probs end up with two of me**

  
**MM: that’s how much can’t wait I am!!!!!**

  
**MS: Well, can’t say that I don’t believe you.**

  
**MS: How is everyone there, by the way?**

  
**MM: everyone’s super fine!!!**  
**MM: except for the fact that they all super misses you!!!!!**

  
**MS: Really? Everyone?**

  
**MM: yeah!!!!!**

  
**MM: soos, wendy, stan, they all miss you!!!!!**

  
**MS: Wow.**

  
**MS: Hold on, which Stan?**

  
**MM: both of them you nerd :P**

  
**MS: Both, huh?**

  
**MS: Then I should finish packing up as soon as possible.**

  
**MS: Don’t want to keep them waiting ;)**

  
**MM: :P**

  
**MS: See you later, sis.**

  
**MM: wait!!!!!**

  
**MS: What is it?**

  
**MM: well since you said you were almost done with the packing**

  
**MM: I was wondering maybe you can play that game with me for a bit?????**

  
**MS: That game? You mean Sburb?**

  
**MS: Oh man, now you too?**

  
**MS: What the heck, sis? You don’t even like this sort of stuff.**

  
**MM: I just thought the game looks kinda fun and we should try it that’s all**

  
**MM: and uh**

  
**MM: i know this is fucking stupid but can you please just play the damn game ill explain everything later**

  
**MS: Wait a second…**

  
**MS: SR talked you into talking me to play this game, didn’t she?**

  
**MM: what no!!!!!**

  
**MM: what makes you say that???**

  
**MS: Because you obviously copied that from a chat you had with her?**

  
**MM: oh**

  
**MM: uh**

  
**MM: is it obvious???**

  
**MS: I said ‘obviously’, so yes, it’s obvious.**

  
**MM: darn it I thought I covered it up pretty good :(**

  
**MM: I even deleted the thing that shows up when you copy paste stuff**

  
**MS: Okay, you know what, that’s it.**

  
**MS: I’m having a talk with her.**

  
**MS: It’s time to find out what is up with this game.**

  
**\-- mysterySleuth [MS] ceased pestering magicalMiracles [MM] at 16:15 --**

  
**> Dipper: Pester SR.**

  
**\-- mysterySleuth [MS] began pestering sasstasticRuby [SR] at 16:15 --**

  
**MS: This is getting a little out of hand, don’t you think?**

  
**SR: what is**

  
**MS: You wanting me and the others to play Sburb.**

  
**SR: what are you talking about**

  
**SR: you guys limited me to talk about it only once a day and that’s exactly what i did today**

  
**MS: Don’t even try to deny it.**

  
**MS: I know you talked MM into talking me to play the game.**

  
**SR: oh really**

  
**SR: and what makes you think i talked her into it dipshit**

  
**SR: what if she just wants to play the damn game out of her own free will**

  
**SR: the thought ever cross your mind genius**

  
**MS: Because you are the only one in our friend group who would use the word ‘fucking’ and ‘damn’ in the same sentence.**

  
**MS: You and maybe RT on a bad day.**

  
**SR: …**

  
**SR: she copy pasted my chat with her didnt she**

  
**MS: Yes.**

  
**SR: dammit**

  
**MS: Though at least she did delete the text that appears when you copy something from Pesterchum. You can give her credit for that.**

  
**MS: If she didn’t choose to copy that particular sentence, I might have been fooled by the deception.**

  
**SR: i guess**

  
**SR: i never really expected much when i asked her to do this**

  
**MS: Aha! So you admit that you did ask my sister to convince me to play Sburb?**

  
**SR: yeah yeah im caught redhanded**

  
**SR: i asked your sis to convince you to play the game**

  
**SR: yet another grand mystery solved nice going sherlock**

  
**SR: you happy now**

  
**MS: Not quite.**

  
**MS: I have some follow up questions.**

  
**SR: oh boy**

  
**MS: You’ve never been interested in this sort of stuff before, but now it is practically all you ever talk about.**

  
**MS: And worse, you dragged all of us into it.**

  
**MS: Why are you suddenly barking at us to play this game like our lives depend on it?**

  
**SR: ok first off i dont bark**

  
**SR: and its not all i ever talk about**

  
**MS: Oh yeah?**

  
**MS: My pesterlogs with you from the last two weeks begs to differ.**

  
**SR: ok so im excited to play a game with my friends is that so weird**

  
**SR: and if you didnt notice half of the world is fucking over each other to play this game**

  
**SR: meanwhile the dipshit that got one for free wont even install the damn thing**

  
**SR: do you have any idea how much shit i have to go through to get eight of that crap**

  
**SR: just play the damn game alright**

  
**MS: You know, all this conversation did was confirm that something really is up with this game.**

  
**SR: nothing is wrong with sburb**

  
**SR: im just excited**

  
**MS: No.**

  
**MS: There’s excitement, and there’s this.**

  
**MS: To be honest, you sound almost… desperate.**

  
**SR: then something is wrong with your hearing**

  
**SR: because desperate is not a thing that i am**

  
**MS: Fine. You can deny that you are desperate.**

  
**MS: But you can’t deny that you know things about this game.**

  
**MS: Things that you are not telling us.**

  
**SR: oh for fucks sake what will it take for you to just play the game**

  
**MS: Some information would be nice.**

  
**SR: ok**

  
**SR: if i tell you shit about sburb will you play it**

  
**MS: Hmm…**

  
**MS: Fine, I will play it.**

  
**SR: ok here it is you ready**

  
**MS: Yes.**

  
**SR: this game is the biggest adventure we are ever going to have**

  
**MS: Whoa.**

  
**MS: To be honest, I wasn’t expecting that.**

  
**MS: Just how big is it actually?**

  
**SR: REALLY**

  
**SR: FUCKING**

  
**SR: BIG**

  
**SR: i used three messages and used full caps in all of them so you know its big**

  
**MS: So, if this game is supposed to be our biggest adventure yet-**

  
**SR: no not yet**

  
**SR: our biggest adventure EVER**

  
**SR: as in period**

  
**SR: as in any other stuff we do after this one wont even come close to it**

  
**MS: Wow.**

  
**MS: And how is this game supposed to do that exactly?**

  
**SR: no thats all im telling you for now**

  
**SR: ill explain the rest later when everyone else is playing**

  
**SR: that way i wont have to repeat myself seven times**

  
**SR: go tell your sis to run the server app and you run the client app**

  
**SR: you better keep your end of the bargain**

  
**SR: and PLAY THE DAMN GAME**

  
**\-- sasstasticRuby [SR] ceased pestering mysterySleuth [MS] at 16:19 --**

  
**> Dipper: Contemplate newly discovered information.**

  
You push yourself away from the computer. You put a hand under your chin as you register this startling development. To be quite frank, you were not expecting anything quite like this. For her, of all people, to say that this is the biggest adventure you are going to have EVER, is rather unsettling. You begin to wonder just how this game would become an adventure of such caliber. Perhaps this game is part of some sort of corporate conspiracy on a global scale? Yes, you suppose that would count as an ultimate adventure of sorts.

  
During your intense train of thought, you notice your PESTERCHUM application is flashing. No doubt it’s your sister trying to contact you, and no doubt she will be asking about your conversation with SR. Well, no need beating around the bushes now. Might as well answer her and keep your promise.

  
**> Dipper: Answer sister.**

  
**\-- magicalMiracles [MM] began pestering mysterySleuth [MS] at 16:20 --**

  
**MM: heyo bro!! :D**

  
**MM: you got the scoop from SR yet???**

  
**MS: Yes, I just finished.**

  
**MS: And frankly, I was expecting anything but this.**

  
**MM: wow really???**

  
**MM: what’d she say???**

  
**MS: According to her, this game is somehow going to be our biggest adventure ever.**

  
**MS: An ultimate adventure, if you will.**

  
**MM: :0**

  
**MM: SHE said that???**

  
**MS: Believe me, I am as surprised as you are.**

  
**MM: wow**

  
**MM: just**

  
**MM: wow**

  
**MM: do you think she’s lying???**

  
**MM: or at least exaggerrbating it a little bit???**

  
**MS: It’s ‘exaggerating’, sis.**

  
**MS: And no, I don’t think she was lying or blowing this out of proportion.**

  
**MM: oh**

  
**MM: are you sure bro???**

  
**MS: We’ve both known her for over a year, sis.**

  
**MS: Do you think she, of all people, would hound us for two weeks non-stop to play a game just as a joke?**

  
**MM: hmmm**

  
**MM: I guess not :|**

  
**MM: did she say anything else???**

  
**MS: No. She said she would explain the rest when everyone else is already playing.**

  
**MM: oh bummer :(**

  
**MM: so**

  
**MM: knowing this**

  
**MM: are we still playing or???**

  
**MS: We have to.**

  
**MS: I promised her I would play if she gave me information about the game.**

  
**MM: so we’re doing this man???**

  
**MM: we’re making this happen???**

  
**MS: Yeah, I guess.**

  
**MS: Do you have the Sburb discs?**

  
**MM: yep it’s in my bag**

  
**MS: Good.**

  
**MS: Let’s get this so-called ‘ultimate adventure’ started, shall we?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, my first work on AO3! And what better way to start off than with a crossover of two of my current biggest obessions: Mystery Kids and Homestuck! Hope I made a good impression of the first chapter of my first work, and I hope to keep making some fics here!
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreaciated!


	2. ACT 1 CHAPTER 2 - The Beginning of A Whole Lot of Shenanigans

 

**Disclaimer: I only own the story and my OCs.**

* * *

 

**> Dipper: Retrieve Sburb discs from sylladex.**

You retrieve the captchalogue card containing the SBURB DISCS from your sylladex. You look at the bottom right corner of the card, where the cipher needed to unlock the card is located. Looks like the card has chosen a number cipher to protect the card. The cipher is 1-16-15-3-1-12-25-16-19-5, which you quickly decipher, revealing the word ‘APOCALYPSE’. That’s… a bit strange. Usually the word needed to unlock the card is always somehow related to the item contained inside.

Actually, that’s… kind of disturbing now that you think about it.

No time to ponder upon it now though; the captchalogue card unlocks and the SBURB DISCS is now in your hands. Time to keep your promise.

**> Dipper: Check on sister.**

**MS: I have the discs on hand now.**

**MS: What about you?**

**MM: yep got em right here**

**MM: but there’s two of them tho**

**MM: which one am I supposed to put in???**

**MS: SR said you should run the server application, while I run the client application.**

**MM: the wha…???**

**MS: Sigh**

**MS: You see the disc with the word ‘server’ written on it?**

**MM: yea**

**MS: That’s the one you that you should install.**

**MS: At least, for now.**

**MM: ok got it**

**MM: alright it’s installing now**

**MM: whoa 0_0**

**MM: what the heck are all these?!?!?!**

**MS: Is something wrong, sis?**

**MM: well uh**

**MM: I don’t think so**

**MM: but all this fancy technobabble just showed up on my screen**

**MM: I have no idea what any of this means**

**MS: Hmm.**

**MS: Why don’t you copy them here?**

**MS: Maybe I can help you out.**

**MM: wait I think I got the general idea here**

**MM: it wants me to establish a connection with you I think???**

**MM: now how do I do that???**

**MS: Doesn’t the game provide you with the instructions?**

**MM: umm**

**MM: no I don’t think so**

**MM: ugghh this fancy tech talk is giving me a headache**

**MM: I’m just gonna look this up**

**MM: brb**

**\-- magicalMiracles [MM] ceased pestering mysterySleuth [MS] at 16:23 --**

It seems it would be a while before your sister would be able to connect with you. It’s okay though, she can take her time. It’s not like you’re in a rush or anything.

In the meantime, you should install the client copy to your computer. That way your sister can establish a connection as soon as she finished installing her copy. You are certain she would be able to work it out. Eventually.

**> Dipper: Install client copy of Sburb.**

You insert the disc into your computer. The game window opens and it begins to load. Looks like it’s installing on its own. That’s quite simple, you thought. You begin to wonder if your sister was exaggerating the complicatedness of the process, but then again, this is only the client application, while she was running the server application. You’d imagine the server copy has much more functions and commands to execute than the client copy; therefore it must be much harder to install. You then begin to wonder if maybe you should be the one handling the server copy.

It looks like you have some time to kill before the game finishes installing. You suppose you should return to your previous train of thought, to ponder upon the meaning of the cipher of the- oh look, your PESTERCHUM window is flashing.

**> Dipper: Check Pesterchum.**

You open PESTERCHUM to see that a brand new CHUM is pestering you. And by brand new, you mean this chum haven’t pestered you this evening, but you suppose that from the perspective of someone who only started listening in to your life this evening, this chum could be considered brand new.

A smile forms on your lips as your chum’s chumhandle flashes on your screen. You have been fond of this particular chum since your first encounter with each other, and you have cherished every interaction you’ve had with him, in real life or through the internet. Your conversations with him are always so invigorating and never fail to brighten your day. They are so thrilling and exciting, yet also so calming and soothing at the same time. And at the end of the conversation, you are always left weak at the knees, practically begging him not to stop, hungry for more.

You… begin to realize that this train of thought has gone down a slightly disturbing route. You quickly click your chum’s flashing chumhandle before this figurative locomotive can travel further down this unsettling track.

**> Dipper: Answer chum.**

**\--specterMaster [SM] began pestering mysterySleuth [MS] at 16:24 --**

**SM: Hey Dipper.**

**MS: Hi!**

**MS: I mean, yeah, hi to you too, I guess.**

**SM: Um, okay?**

**SM: Look, are you doing anything important right now?**

**SM: I need to talk to you about something.**

**MS: Well, I actually am in the middle of something right now, but I suppose I can still talk to you while doing it.**

**MS: What do you want to talk about?**

**SM: Um…**

**SM: You know what, never mind.**

**SM: It’s kinda dumb actually. I’m just being paranoid.**

**SM: Sorry for bothering you.**

**MS: No, wait!**

**MS: You can just tell me anyways. I wouldn’t mind even if it’s a little dumb.**

**SM: Really?**

**MS: Sure.**

**MS: What is it? Did you have a vision or something?**

**SM: Well, it’s not exactly a vision.**

**SM: It’s more like a…**

**SM: A bad feeling.**

**SM: That’s the best way to describe it I guess.**

**MS: A bad feeling about what?**

**SM: About today.**

**SM: I’ve been having a bad feeling about this particular day for the past week.**

**SM: But the thing is, I don’t know why I should even feel bad.**

**SM: Everything’s been going pretty normal this week and the same can be said for today.**

**SM: Heck, nothing weird beyond some casual ghostly conversation has happened for months!**

**SM: I can’t even guess what could happen that would make me feel this way.**

**SM: I swear the visions are a hundred times better than this.**

**SM: This is just plain frustrating!**

**SM: So, to sum it up: I have an irrational, unexplainable bad feeling about today and I’m letting it bother me on multiple levels.**

**SM: Pretty dumb right?**

**MS: Hmmm.**

**MS: No, I don’t think it is dumb.**

**MS: I’m glad you decided to bring this up with me. This is actually something worth investigating!**

**SM: Uh…**

**SM: A gut feeling I had is something worth investigating?**

**MS: Oh please, this is hardly the weirdest material that we had to work with.**

**MS: So, let’s start at the beginning.**

**MS: When exactly did you start having these feelings?**

**SM: About a week ago.**

**SM: No, wait.**

**SM: EXACTLY a week ago.**

**SM: Oh and here’s another weird thing about this feeling.**

**SM: I immediately started feeling it when I woke up exactly seven days ago.**

**SM: Like, I opened my eyes, and then I suddenly have this horrible feeling in my stomach that the 18 th of June is not gonna be a good day for us.**

**SM: At first I thought that feeling would go away in a bit, but it stayed up until now.**

**MS: Hmmm.**

**MS: Pardon my language, but DAMN.**

**MS: This is a troubling development.**

**SM: Dude.**

**SM: What are you talking about?**

**MS: Well…**

**MS: Uh...**

**MS: Argh!**

**MS: How do I put this shortly…**

**MS: I have recently obtained some news that, when combined with yours, creates something truly worrying.**

**MS: That’s why this is a troubling development.**

**SM: You have news?**

**SM: Why didn’t you tell us??**

**MS: Relax; I only got it a few minutes ago.**

**SM: Oh.**

**SM: Well what is it then?**

**MS: Do you remember the game SR has been hounding us to play for the past two weeks?**

**SM: I think the real question here is how can I NOT remember.**

**MS: Haha!**

**MS: Very true.**

**SM: Wait how does that game get connected to this?**

**MS: We’re getting to that in a bit.**

**MS: Now, did you notice that her attempts to get us to play the game have gotten somewhat desperate as time goes by?**

**SM: Um, I never really paid attention when she started ranting about the game.**

**SM: So, not really I guess?**

**SM: I always thought those conversations with her are kind of annoying.**

**SM: Kinda like getting spam in your email you know?**

**SM: But now that you pointed it out, I kinda do see some underlying hints of desperation in there.**

**SM: But like, in her own way.**

**MS: Yes, exactly.**

**MS: And just a few minutes ago, I found out why.**

**MS: According to her, this is going the biggest adventure we are ever going to have, period.**

**MS: That was more or less a direct quote from her, by the way.**

**SM: Wow she said that??**

**SM: Looks like she just replaced me as the team’s ‘vague ominous things teller’.**

**MS: Exactly.**

**SM: I admit that’s pretty weird and all, even by our standards.**

**SM: But how can that be connected to my gut feeling?**

**MS: Well, you said you started having it exactly one week ago, right?**

**MS: Now when did her efforts to get us to play the game intensified to such a level that we had to forbid her from pestering us about it more than once a day?**

**MS: Exactly one week ago.**

**MS: There’s also the fact that, in exchange for the information she gave me, I promised her to play the game right away.**

**MS: Which just so happens on the exact same day that you have been dreading.**

**MS: Coincidence? I highly doubt it.**

**SM: Um.**

**SM: No offense Dipper, but that’s quite a stretch don’t you think?**

**MS: Yes, this all might seem like just a huge mess of coincidences.**

**MS: But that’s exactly it!**

**MS: There are far too many coincidences for it to be a coincidence.**

**SM: Dude that was only, like, two coincidences.**

**SM: I think you’re way over thinking this Dipper.**

**MS: Even if I did, the fact still stands that she, of all people, stated that this game would supposedly become our ultimate adventure.**

**SM: Yeah, I don’t know how to explain that either.**

**SM: You know, sometimes it’s impossible to tell what’s going on in that girl’s head.**

**MS: Yes, very true.**

**SM: So…**

**SM: I guess she’d pester me to play anytime now huh?**

**MS: Well, when she said it’s going to be ‘our biggest adventure’, I’m sure she didn’t mean just me and my sis.**

**SM: Aw crud.**

**SM: REALLY not in the mood to do stuff like that right now.**

**SM: Welp would you look at that.**

**SM: Speak of that blue-haired devil.**

**MS: SR?**

**SM: Yep.**

**SM: I’m gonna go deal with her now.**

**MS: I suppose I should go and actually start up the game.**

**MS: I wish you the best of luck with dealing with her.**

**SM: Ha, thanks.**

**SM: It’s been nice talking to you, Dipper.**

**MS: Likewise.**

**SM: See ya.**

**\-- specterMaster [SM] ceased pestering mysterySleuth [MS] at 16:28 --**

**> Dipper: Check status of Sburb.**

It seems that the game has finished installing. Now all you need to do is actually start up the game. The screen also states that a Sburb host user has established a connection with you. The host user must undoubtedly be your sister. Looks like she managed to figure out how to install the game after all.

Oh, and there she is now, pestering you to let you know she has finished installing the game. You are sure she must be feeling quite proud of herself right now.

**\-- magicalMiracles [MM] began pestering mysterySleuth [MS] at 16:28 --**

**MM: bro!!!**

**MM: I did it!!! :D**

**MM: I have a headache now but I finally did it!!!!! :’)**

**MS: Yeah, I noticed.**

**MM: man you shoulda seen me bro**

**MM: I got like ten tabs open here**

**MM: switchin between them in lightspeed and taking pics with my head like SNAP SNAP SNAP**

**MM: and I finally cracked this thing open with mah rad HAX SKILLZ!!!!!**

**MM: B)**

**MS: Yes, I am so proud.**

**MS: My dear sister is now a hacker with rad hax skillz… *sniffs***

**MS: No doubt she will become the greatest hacker in the world.**

**MS: Outhacking all the other noob hackers. All of them.**

**MS: And she’s going to make a killing at the 2k13 Hacker Awards.**

**MM: oh stop it bro BP**

**MS: But for now let’s put those sweet hacker shades down, hmm?**

**MM: ok XD**

**MM: there**

**MM: the hacker shades have been put down**

**MS: Let’s start playing then, shall we?**

**MM: yes, yes we shall**

**MM: just click enter over there and it should start right away**

**> Dipper: Press [ENTER]**

Your entire screen immediately switches to a loading screen. It now shows a spirograph, changing rapidly in form and color in sync to a music playing, as the loading bar fills up below it. You admit that the loading screen is quite creative and the music that plays alongside it is actually quite catchy. You should find out if the loading screen music is available for download later on.

A few moments passed and the loading bar fills up, switching to the title card of the game. The game has officially begun, you suppose.

**> Dipper: Experience extraordinary and life-changing effects of the game.**

You… don’t really feel anything different. You don’t see or hear anything out of the ordinary either. Your computer screen also simply switches back to showing your desktop after showing the yellow Sburb logo. Frankly, after all the hype surrounding this game, you are feeling quite underwhelmed. Maybe there is something wrong with how you installed the game. Or, even more likely, there is something wrong with how your sister installed the game.

It looks like your sister is pestering you again. Maybe she is having the same problems too?

**> Dipper: Answer MM.**

**MM: omg bro this so weird :O**

**MM: I can see you!!!!!**

**MS: What?**

**MS: What do you mean you can see me?**

**MM: I mean I can see you here on my screen!!!**

**MM: you’re sitting in front of the computer**

**MM: back in our room in piedmont**

**MM: and I can see you!!!**

**MS: What?!**

**MS: How is that possible?!**

**MM: I dunno don’t ask me :/**

**MM: wait that is you right bro???**

**MM: quick do something to make sure it is you!!!**

**> Dipper: Twerk like a moron and lick your armpits.**

…Why would you ever do that?! Hell, how did that thought even cross your mind in the first place?! You would never, in a million years, do something like that even when you’re absolutely sure that you are alone, let alone when your sister could potentially be watching through some unexplained means.

You simply wave your arms instead.

**MM: are you waving your arms around rn bro???**

**MS: …yes.**

**MM: :O**

**MM: oh my globbin gosh**

**MM: this is so weird!!!!!**

**MM: I am seeing you back in piedmont somehow!!!!!**

**MM: and it said I can do things to your environment too???**

**MS: …Do things to my environment…?**

**MS: Do I want to know what that does?**

**MM: come on bro it can’t be that bad**

**MM: I guess it’s kinda like uhh**

**MM: like this!!!**

**> MM: Pick up your brother’s bed.**

You proceed to select your brother’s bed and lift it a few feet in the air. Judging from your brother’s reaction, which is nearly falling out of his chair in shock, you just gave him quite a scare!

**MS: Was… was that you…?**

**MM: no we are suddenly dealing with a poltergeist**

**MM: of course it’s me silly!!! XD**

**MS: …okay then.**

**MS: That’s not too bad, I guess.**

**MM: and that’s not all I can do!!!**

**MM: I can select deploy and revise stuff**

**MM: I think that’s what manipulating the environment means**

**MM: and there are four more options here with funny names**

**MS: Yes, yes, that’s great and all.**

**MS: But do you mind putting the bed down first before you explore the mechanics of the game even further?**

**MS: It’s a bit strange typing on my computer with my bed floating behind me.**

**MM: oh sure thing bro!!!**

**> MM: Drop bed. **

You deselect the bed, letting it fall down on the floor with a thud. Your brother doesn’t look pleased with that particular action.

**MS: Hey, be careful!**

**MS: Don’t just drop it!**

**MS: You might break something!**

**MM: sorry dip :P**

**MM: not using a mouse rn**

**MS: It’s okay. Just don’t do it again.**

**MM: ok ok**

**MM: no promises though ;)**

**MS: Sigh…**

**MS: So what else does the game enables you to do to my surroundings, besides picking up and dropping objects?**

**MM: hmmm**

**MM: hold on lemme see**

**> MM: Experiment with machinations of the game.**

It seems that your view is not limited to the bedroom you share with your brother. You can view other rooms in the house, and also choose different angles from which to view from. You can also zoom out to view the exterior of your suburban house. You find it a bit odd that you can’t seem to find either of your parents anywhere in the house.

You turn your attention to the funny-sounding options at the top of the screen. There are the Phernalia Registry, the Grist Cache, the Atheneum, and the Alchemy Excursus. You have no idea what any of them means, but you are quite sure some of them are not actual words.

You slide your cursor, first, to the Phernalia Registry. You click on it and opened a menu, showing four weird-looking contraptions. They are listed as the Cruxtruder, the Totem Lathe, the Alchemiter, and the Pre-punched Card. You guess you are supposed to deploy them or something? You should ask your brother about this.

Next, you check out the Grist Cache. It lists several varieties of items called ‘Grist’ and how many you have. You guess ‘Grist’ is some sort of currency within the game. Currently, you (or maybe your brother?) only have twenty Build Grist and none of the other types of grist.

Next, you check the Atheneum. It seems to be an inventory of some sort. It’s currently empty though, no need to waste your time here.

Lastly, you open the Alchemy Excursus. Just like the Atheneum, it is empty. Nothing of interest here at all.

Well, looks like that’s all you can do, for now at least. Why don’t you give your brother the scoop on things?

**> MM: Give brother the scoop.**

**MM: I’m back dipper**

**MM: and I got some scoops right here**

**MM: you want some of these sweet scoops bro??? ;D**

**MS: Oh, yes please.**

**MM: alright here goes**

**MM: so turns out I can see the entire house from here!!! I can switch rooms and choose which angle I’m looking from and zoom in and out and all that jazz**

**MM: and there are a bunch of things that I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to deploy**

**MM: and there’s a thing called grist and I think they’re what we need to build stuff in the game**

**MM: and finally there’s a bunch of funny sounding options that’s empty for now but I think they’re an inventory for stuff**

**MS: Is that all you can do?**

**MM: yep I think that’s it**

**MM: oh yeah i can’t find mom and dad anywhere where are they???**

**MS: They’re out shopping, I think.**

**MM: aw man I wanna wave things in front of them**

**MM: it’ll be so friggin hilarious!!! XDDD**

**MS: While I’m sure it will be,**

**MS: I think it’s for the best that they are both away while we are playing this reality-defying game.**

**MS: They haven’t exactly come to terms with our previous adventures, even if they don’t show it.**

**MM: yea probs for the best**

**MS: And with that in mind, I have a favor to ask of you sis.**

**MS: Could you try to not leave any evidence that we ever played this game at all?**

**MS: At least nothing permanent.**

**MM: yea yea I’ll be careful with the lifting and dropping business**

**MS: Good.**

**MS: Back to the topic, you said there were some things that are to be deployed?**

**MM: yes**

**MM: a bunch of weird gadgets with funny names**

**MM: they all don’t cost anything to deploy though probs bc they’re starting equipments or something**

**MS: Yes, possibly.**

**MM: so like**

**MM: should I deploy them now or???**

**MS: Well… I suppose it is the point of this game…**

**MS: Sure, go ahead.**

**MS: I just hope we can wrap everything up before mom and dad gets home.**

**MM: ok then bro**

**MM: I’m gonna put something in the living room**

**MM: meet cha there!!!**

**> MM: Put something in the living room.**

You decide to place the Cruxtruder in the living room, placing it on a convenient groove on the wall. There, the large gizmo is placed snugly in the house.

**> Dipper: Check downstairs.**

Judging by how the whole house shook just now, you guess your sister has placed something in the living room. You stepped away from the computer, exited your room, and descended the flight of stairs leading to the- what the heck?! Why’d she put that gizmo _there_?!

You quickly rush back to your computer to contact your sister.

**> Dipper: Contact sister.**

**MS: Sis, that contraption in the living room was yours, right?**

**MM: yep**

**MM: is something wrong???**

**MS: Not really.**

**MS: But, why did you put it there?**

**MM: what do you mean why did I put it there???**

**MM: I already said I was gonna put it in the living room**

**MS: Well, yes, you did.**

**MS: I meant why did you put it in that specific spot?**

**MM: oh that**

**MM: well I just thought the cruxtruder kinda fits to that groove in the wall**

**MS: Sis.**

**MS: That groove is where the front door is.**

**MM: oh**

**MM: whoops X(**

**MS: How can you not know where the front door is?! You live here!**

**MM: well the game didn’t show there was a door there!!!**

**MM: plus I never saw the house in this weird third person view before!!!**

**MS: Okay, it’s fine. Can you just place it somewhere else?**

**MM: sure hold on**

**MM: uh oh**

**MS: What is it now?**

**MM: ummm well turns out moving things cost grist too**

**MM: and the bigger the thing is the more it costs I guess**

**MM: so yeah we don’t have enough grist to move it**

**MS: Well then!**

**MS: Isn’t that just lovely!**

**MM: :(**

**MM: I really am sorry dipper.**

**> Dipper: Ponder upon current predicament.**

Great, only a few minutes into the game and you’re already facing potential grounding from your parents. Frickin’ typical. Well, you couldn’t say you didn’t expect something like this to happen, if the words of your blue-haired friend is anything to go by. What you _didn’t_ expect was how fast it could happen.

You’re totally not mad at your sister though, obviously. You could never be mad at her. Besides, it’s not like this is her fault. She is new to this game just as much as you are. If anyone is to blame, then it would be how whatever crappy way Sburb renders your house so that your sister didn’t see the front door.

Now, how do you pull yourself out of your current predicament…

Holy crud, your PESTERCHUM is flashing like crazy. Might not be such a good idea to suddenly ignore your sister, even if it was unintentional. You should put her nerves at ease.

**> Dipper: Ease sister’s nerves.**

**MM: dip???**

**MM: dipper???**

**MM: dip I really am genuinely sorry I did that**

**MM: I promise I’ll make it up to you when you get here!!!**

**MM: we’re cool right bro???**

**MM: right???**

**MM: bro???**

**MM: dipper?????**

**MM: DIPPER?????**

**MS: It’s okay, sis. I forgive you.**

**MS: Sorry I went silent for a bit there. I was just trying to figure out how to clean up this mess.**

**MM: oh**

**MM: well that’s a relief!!! :D**

**MS: Don’t be relieved just yet.**

**MS: Mom and dad can still ground you, even when you’re all the way over there.**

**MM: awww that’s mean D:**

**MM: Hmmm**

**MM: well if we need more grist to move the thingy then all we have to do is keep playing so we can earn some more grist right???**

**MS: You’re right, that’s it!**

**MS: Wow.**

**MS: That’s a lot simpler than I thought it would be.**

**MM: looks like someone’s been over thinking things again :P**

**MM: as always, leave it to your big sis to solve everything B)**

**MS: Yeah, haha.**

**MS: I typed that while rolling my eyes by the way.**

**MM: duh, I know that!!! I can still see you dummy!!!**

**MM: so there’re three more things that I’m supposed to deploy**

**MM: should I put them out right now???**

**MS: Yes, of course.**

**MS: Just be careful where you put it down, okay?**

**> MM: Deploy three more things.**

You switch the view of the house to the kitchen. There, you deploy the device named Totem Lathe, placing it next to the kitchen cabinet. You are quite sure placing it there won’t cause anymore troubles.

You switch to a view of your house’s balcony. You decided to place the Alchemiter there, since it looks too big to be placed inside the house. You carefully place the Alchemiter on the balcony. Not an easy task when you’re using a track pad.

And finally, there’s the Pre-Punched Card. You decide to drop the card in your brother’s bedroom, since it looks like it’s something that needed to be handled personally by your brother.

**> MM: Inform brother of deployment success.**

**MM: it’s done bro!!!**

**MM: there’s a thingy I put in the kitchen called the totem lathe**

**MM: there’s this huge platform gizmo called the alchemiter that I put on the balcony**

**MM: and there’s a sort of captcha card called a pre punched card that I placed right behind ya**

**MS: That’s all of them, right?**

**MM: yeah for now I guess**

**MS: Alright then. I’m gonna go check them out.**

**MM: and I’ll be watching you!!! ;D**

**MM: wait**

**MM: dang it that’s kinda creepy**

**> Dipper: Check out the Pre-punched Card.**

It seems to be just a normal captchalogue card showing an image of what seems to be a piece of paper made out of some sort yellow substance, except that is has several holes that forms a pattern of sorts, which you guess is what the game means of the card being ‘punched’.

You decide to captchalogue it for the time being. You’ll give it a closer look later.

**> Dipper: Check out the Totem Lathe. **

You descend downstairs and heads to the kitchen, where you come face-to-face with a rather large contraption covering one side of the kitchen wall. After giving it a quick check, you are relieved to find that the placement of the device is completely harmless.

You investigate the device itself further. You have no idea what it does, though you did find a slot that’s a perfect fit for a captcha card, so you guess it must have something to do with the cards.

**> Dipper: Check out the Alchemiter.**

You head back upstairs and heads out to the balcony. You come across an enormous contraption occupying most of the balcony. Just like the Totem Lathe, you have no idea what this thing does. In fact, you’re even more clueless with this one. This thing doesn’t have any buttons or levers or anything! It’s just an enormous platformy thing, with a much smaller platform beside it.

You are very confused by all of this to be honest.

**> Dipper: Try to make sense of things.**

You put a hand under your chin, purse your lips, and stare intently at the ground. After this barrage of information, you think it’s time for a good brainstorming session. This time, you will make sure you’d think everything thoroughly. There is nothing that could distract you now; your computer is back in your bedroom so no one can pester you and your sister is done with any deployment shenanigans. The time is perfect for a good old-fashioned, highly productive brainstorming session where you will think everything through, and you will make sure you are NOT going to be distracted or sidetracked by absolutely anything or anyone.

Hey, what’s that thing in the sky?

**> Dipper: Notice the thing in the sky.**

You look up towards the sky, where you spot a small red dot far in the distance, a stark contrast to the clear blue sky surrounding it. It’s far too far away to actually make out what it is though. You’ll need a telescope or something to get a good look at it.

Good thing you have a telescope stored in your sylladex!

**> Dipper: Retrieve telescope.**

You view the card containing the telescope, which is protected by yet another number cipher. The cipher is 19-9-7-8-20, which you easily decipher to reveal the word ‘SIGHT’. The card unlocks, dropping the TELESCOPE to your waiting arms.

**> Dipper: Get closer look of the thing in the sky.**

You bring the telescope to your eye and point it at the faraway red dot. All you get is a blurry image of the object, so you adjust the view a little bit. The image clears up and you finally get your first good look of the object, which seems to actually be a… a… a _meteor_?!

 _Oh fuck_.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, finally finished this chapter. This chapter is easily twice as long as the last one, and from the looks of things it's just gonna keep getting longer. Well, I guess I'm just glad I managed to finish this chapter in under three weeks, instead of my usual time (which can reach several months, btw). Guess I'm just really excited about Homestuck.
> 
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated.


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